Friday, July 14, 2006

Mormons

So as mentioned before, I will briefly discuss Mormons. I just don't get it. They are basically a cult, with ridiculous beliefs, and a questionable history (the founder Joseph Smith was a convicted con-artist). Most of them live in one place, the state of Utah. Although officially condemned, some Mormons still practice polygamy, which as depicted in the great HBO show .Big Love, seems like a real pain in the ass.

Once upon a time, back in the days of when I worked for a DOTcom with HeavyD, we had to travel to Utah against our wills to work with some crazy-ass Mormons out there, a new acquisition of the DOTcom. At the time, our DOTcom stock was quickly becoming worthless and the DOTcom wanted us to hook up what we were producing with what the Mormons were producing, and our technology was as different from theirs as their "religion" is from the rest of the United States. We landed, were promptly issued a minivan as our rental vehicle, and could not find a bite to eat - much less a beer anywhere in town since it was after 9 pm. Everyone we saw had blond hair and blue eyes. One of the websites we had developed was a picture/people rating site and the Mormons had a real problem with this site despite its massive and brief popularity, due to the sometimes provocative pictures uploaded by people desperate for attention. The highlight of this first visit to Utah was that there was a brand spanking new Krispy Kreme right next to our hotel. HeavyD and I, having never experienced the joy that is Krispy Kreme each ate a dozen hot fresh donuts in a matter of minutes, plus dragged another dozen back home with us to our wives.

The Mormons came to a Christmas party in New York with the rest of the divisions of the DOTcom and looked like lost children. Unable to drink caffeine or liquor, clothed in secret underwear, they huddled together in a small group in the middle of the room, and made their exit fairly early in the evening. Our three person "division", meanwhile was enjoying White Russians with the CEO of the DOTcom, several months before he escaped a very rich man in his Golden Parachute.


The bottom line is that since that fateful trip to Utah, I have a fascination with Mormonism (and Krispy Kreme), that so many millions can be swayed by something so utterly strange (and delicious).

There's a great South Park episode that sums up, in song, the beliefs and history of the Mormons. I also recommend the book Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer. Krakauer, uses a true-story framing device of a mother and child murdered by fundamentalist Mormons in his discussion of the history of Mormonism, including Warren Jeffs, the polygamist wanted by the FBI.

Finally, back to Big Love on HBO, starring Bill Paxton as a polygamist trying to hide it and be a successful business owner in Utah. Season One is being rerun currently (it began on July 12th), so check it out. Particularly outstanding is the Warren-Jeffsish portrayal by Harry Dean Stanton of Roman Grant.

DJ

1 comment:

heavyd said...

Loved the post.. I think I ate a dozen in the first hour.. You should mention how they seriously look the same like maybe cousins marrying cousins..